All grown up!

July 16, 2007

By Jerry Scott

Each time we see our kids these days it becomes more apparent they are all grown up! The youngest is 25, and they have all been out of our house for five years or more, so perhaps I’m just slow to recognize the obvious. What I mean is they are fully into their own lives, with their own circle of friends, financially independent of their parents, pursuing their dreams, with their own opinions and ideas about the world.

And here’s the best part — I’m thrilled for them! Sure, I miss the days when they came home from school and filled the house with noise. Sometimes I get lonely and wish they were closer to home. I worry about some of their choices, too. What parent doesn’t? But, they are all grown up just as we wanted them to be.

We worked to get them to maturity, to help them become independent adults, because we knew that is how they would make their own contribution to the world and the kingdom of God. Jay, Sean, Chrissie and Maribel will always be our kids, but they are no longer our dependent children — and that is as it should be.

Some parents “hover.” They are so afraid to let their offspring experience disappointment or pain, so worried about a wrong choice, they stay inappropriately involved in their kids’ lives. They keep on making decisions for their child, long after the time when that growing person should be choosing his or her own road. They provide too much support, which perpetuates unhealthy dependence and stunts both emotional and spiritual growth. They remain in full parental roles long after their child should have become self-sufficient.

Did you know our Heavenly Father wants us to grow up? Several passages in the Word refer to the importance of spiritual maturity.

Ephesians tells us we should grow up in Christ so we are not subject to being misled by frauds who claim to be spiritual, but who are just out to take advantage of us.

“We will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ” (Ephesians 4:14,15, NIV).

Tragically, some believers won’t grow up. They remain totally dependent on spiritual leaders to tell them what to do, how to live, where to go, how to serve. Sometimes pastors and teachers wanting to stay in control create this place of perpetual spiritual infancy. Sometimes believers refuse the responsibility that comes with maturity. God says, “Grow up in Christ and learn to discern!”

Interestingly, that same passage in Ephesians says maturity has a most desirable by-product: unity in the body of Christ. People who are mature know how to get along and how to blend their gifts and abilities into the Church for the benefit of all. Dependence becomes independence that matures into inter-dependence.

Hebrews urges maturity in our spiritual experience that moves us beyond the basics.

“Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil. Therefore let us leave the elementary teachings about Christ and go on to maturity, not laying again the foundation of repentance from acts that lead to death, and of faith in God” (Hebrews 5:13 through 6:1).

Believers need to move into a Kingdom life. Some just come to Christ as Savior and think that is it, the whole experience. They never deal with their sinful nature; they never do the work of applying spiritual principles to their lives allowing them to become holy adults. Instead, they fall into a “sin, repent” cycle — unwilling to deal with the sinful habits that cripple them. They do not want to mature with the help of the Holy Spirit and put an end to their childish ways.

Mature believers are not sinless, but they are increasingly spiritual! They are constantly growing into Christ’s likeness (2 Corinthians 3:18), learning to live in the Spirit (Romans 8:5), learning to use the gifts of the Spirit (1 Corinthians 12:1-11), and becoming productive in God’s work (Matthew 13:23).

James observes that maturity brings “completeness.”

“You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way” (James 1:3,4, The Message).

That is so practical, isn’t it? There is no easy road to being an “all grown up” Christian! We walk out our faith and step into places where we experience pressure, disappointment and even confusion. But in that kind of stress we also discover what real faith is. As we work with God, pray and persevere, a completeness of character and faith emerges. We are ready to serve Him in an effective and productive way.

Are you a mature believer, or are you still a spiritual infant?

Part of that answer will be determined by when you came to Christ. If you became a believer last week, more seasoned followers of Christ stand ready to encourage you, to help you, to care for you as you grow. If you came to faith a decade ago, you should be well on your way — growing in Christ — and making a Kingdom difference.

Jerry D. Scott is senior pastor of Washington (N.J.) Assembly of God.