Conversation: Michelle LaRowe Conover

Tips from a nanny

Named the 2004 International Nanny Association Nanny of the Year, Michelle LaRowe Conover, 32, started her career as a professional nanny nearly 10 years ago. She is the author of the Nanny to the Rescue! parenting book series and earlier this year completed the first level of pastoral studies through Global University. This summer she and husband Jeff, members of Faith Assembly of God in Hyannis, Mass., became parents when Conover gave birth to a baby girl. Recently, Conover spoke with Jennifer McClure, assistant editor of Today’s Pentecostal Evangel.

tpe: What are some common parenting issues in the average American home?

CONOVER: Parents want to be their kids’ best friend, and I think because of that they’re sometimes afraid to discipline. We live in a society of immediate gratification, and parents have a tendency to want to meet all of their kids’ needs immediately. Also, we don’t take time to have free time. Everything’s over-scheduled and over-structured.

tpe: What do you recommend for correcting those tendencies?

CONOVER: It’s vital to understand the difference between discipline and punishment. Discipline means to teach and to raise up, to guide and to instruct. When parents get a mind-set of what true discipline is, they’re more likely to discipline their children because they see it as an act of love.

Regarding immediate gratification, it’s important to teach older children to have a budget, to save, to give to other people and to learn to work toward something rather than just have it instantly.

tpe: What about the over-scheduling of kids?

CONOVER: Find activities that keep your child active and engaged, but also let kids be kids. Let them have time to play outside, to explore, to make up games, to be creative, to learn to be bored and to process boredom.

tpe: Where can parents find tested guidelines for raising children?

CONOVER: The Bible gives us a blueprint for raising children and families. God’s Word is a source of strength and encouragement. I always go by the five Cs: comprehend the difference between discipline and punishment, be clear, be consistent, be considerate and, most importantly, center your faith.

Your faith is your set of morals, your values and your beliefs that you live by. Your job as a parent is to program the internal compass that your children have. You can’t underestimate the importance of centering your faith as a family and communicating your faith to your children. If you don’t tell your kids what you believe, someone else will communicate their values.

tpe: How have you been able to serve as a parenting expert without having been a parent?

CONOVER: It’s all because of God. My parents were divorced, my father was an alcoholic and abused my mom, I had no kids of my own, and yet they call me a parenting expert. I’ve written three books on parenting. I’ve been on the 700 Club. I’ve been on international television. I write for magazines regularly. That’s not me. That’s God through me.

By the world’s standards I should be a failure. God takes what the world throws away and elevates it and lifts it up. I look at my life, where I’ve been and where I’ve come from. I look at all the circumstances, and it’s amazing. God opens doors no man can open and no man can close and sets you on His path.

E-mail your comments to tpe@ag.org.